I'm not sure that I've ever said "no" to a gig, unless it conflicted with another gig. And even then I hem and haw and try to come up with a way to do it all, until I finally admit it's impossible and say no. When I started freelancing in Madison I just wanted to play every chance I got, and any pay was better than no pay (i.e. school), and every gig introduced me to more people which introduced me to more gigs! I always got something out of every gig too, whether it was great sight-reading experience, playing a Brahms symphony for the first time, or getting to know a great horn player a little better through the carpooling process.
I know many musicians who have reached some sort of line where they start saying no to gigs. I think a lot of my colleagues reached it this weekend. This point comes for different reasons- maybe a big life change, maybe the proverbial "last straw" or maybe just starting to have enough good gigs that they can't stand the bad ones.
I'm reminded of Ren's arrival at this point a little over a year ago:
"So here it is, a little early, but my New Years Resolution:
NO MORE SHITTY GIGS.
It might be that I can't afford NOT TO take these gigs, but in the long run, I don't think I can afford TO TAKE them. Right now, I love playing horn, and I don't want to lose that. As MMG puts it, there are three rules to taking a gig, and the gig needs to fit two of them in order to take it:
1) It is INCREDIBLY lucrative. (And any gig that lucrative probably has some good people playing)
2) It is a really great experience. ("Gurrelieder? I've never played that, and probably never will again!") (Or, "Adam Unsworth, Cindy Carr, Doug Hill, and Froydis Wekre are all in the section but we can't afford to pay you, will you do it?" "Of course!")
3) Its REALLY easy. (i.e. It is across the street and I can show up in my pajamas.)"
This is an important transtion in any musician's life. I don't know if I'm there yet, but I know that I'm on my way.
I've never said no to a gig (oh wait, there was that one where I would have had to fly back to Mexico three days early from Christmas vacation, meaning being in airports all day on my 23rd birthday, paying an extra $50 for a plane ticket, and missing out on two more days with the family and friends I see twice a year. It paid $100. I seriously considered it.) and I had never played a gig I regretted...until now. I think. But I'm not sure. It may be I would do it all over again. Or maybe not. I'm confused. That's why I'm blogging about it.
OK, let me try to recreate this particular gig that may have pushed me over the edge for you.
First of all, it definitely does not meet 2 out of 3 of Ren's requirements. In fact, it's batting 0 for 3 if you interpret the "incredibly" in "incredibly lucrative" literally.
Hm, I just realized that words cannot possibly describe what I withstood. Perhaps this will serve my purpose better, especially for you horn players that so faithfully read my blog. Please look carefully to understand the kinds of things we were supposed to be playing. Especially important are the treble clef or bass clef signs. Oh, also, everything was at a pretty fast tempo. And although I've included a few examples, there were pages and pages and pages of this stuff, and it basically all sounded exactly the same.
These last two are from a piece we saw for the first time at the sound check about an hour before the concert.
And because I know you're wondering, yes, there is indeed an Agua I and II.
OK, add to that a total &#^%$ of a conductor, three separate long bus rides and overnights in mediocre hotels, and absolutely no sort of dependable organization, and you ask yourself, is this actually what I want to be doing with any single moment of my life?
But then, you think of the amount of money, and you think you will tolerate it. For all the above, I will receive in total 8600 pesos, or around $860. OK, before you write me off as entirely crazy and self-respect-less, let me remind you that for me that is almost half a year's rent. So it's a decent chunk of change. But still.
During one of those interminable bus rides I began to think: if someone offered me 8200 pesos to bus me all over the peninsula, put me up and give me bad food to dig ditches, would I do it? Of course not. But the work I did do was basically manual labor- I needed to sit in my seat and move the parts of my body necessary to play the notes on the page (sort of, I didn't play a lot of them and it didn't seem to bother anyone). And yet, it was a gig.
And musicians are addicted to gigs. We aren't supposed to say no to them. I'm not even sure why that's so anymore, but it is, you are never supposed to say no to a gig. So, I ask again, where do I draw the line?
This time around, I can say it was worth it because it put the horn on my face at least twice as much in the last few weeks, and having just changed my embouchure, that was actually invaluable. However, next time? Is there any reason to do it but the cash? If it's just the cash, is that enough? How much is enough?
I certainly didn't go into music to make money. In fact, my mentality for the last 8 years has been "I'm going to have to spend a great deal of my life working to earn money. I want to be working in something that doesn't feel like work to me, something that I would do for free, so when the money shows up, it's like a special (and coincidentally necessary) bonus." I check in with that mentality every month or so, and so far I'm still living by it. But doing it only for the money doesn't really line up with that philosophy.
Since I'm an incessant optimist, I will say that there were plenty of good things about the gig. Sitting next to BP on a bus for 12 hours+ total was mostly really fun. I ate some really amazing tacos at a rest stop. There was one piece that began with an improvised go-crazy-and-make-lots-of-noise part in which I danced around wearing a luchador mask while my colleagues played conk shells really loud. I spent one morning drinking a pina colada and laying by a pretty nice pool. But overall, doing the gig was really horrible.
So...was it worth the money? Or, even better, is any horrible musical experience worth the money? And will I do it again?
OK, add to that a total &#^%$ of a conductor, three separate long bus rides and overnights in mediocre hotels, and absolutely no sort of dependable organization, and you ask yourself, is this actually what I want to be doing with any single moment of my life?
But then, you think of the amount of money, and you think you will tolerate it. For all the above, I will receive in total 8600 pesos, or around $860. OK, before you write me off as entirely crazy and self-respect-less, let me remind you that for me that is almost half a year's rent. So it's a decent chunk of change. But still.
During one of those interminable bus rides I began to think: if someone offered me 8200 pesos to bus me all over the peninsula, put me up and give me bad food to dig ditches, would I do it? Of course not. But the work I did do was basically manual labor- I needed to sit in my seat and move the parts of my body necessary to play the notes on the page (sort of, I didn't play a lot of them and it didn't seem to bother anyone). And yet, it was a gig.
And musicians are addicted to gigs. We aren't supposed to say no to them. I'm not even sure why that's so anymore, but it is, you are never supposed to say no to a gig. So, I ask again, where do I draw the line?
This time around, I can say it was worth it because it put the horn on my face at least twice as much in the last few weeks, and having just changed my embouchure, that was actually invaluable. However, next time? Is there any reason to do it but the cash? If it's just the cash, is that enough? How much is enough?
I certainly didn't go into music to make money. In fact, my mentality for the last 8 years has been "I'm going to have to spend a great deal of my life working to earn money. I want to be working in something that doesn't feel like work to me, something that I would do for free, so when the money shows up, it's like a special (and coincidentally necessary) bonus." I check in with that mentality every month or so, and so far I'm still living by it. But doing it only for the money doesn't really line up with that philosophy.
Since I'm an incessant optimist, I will say that there were plenty of good things about the gig. Sitting next to BP on a bus for 12 hours+ total was mostly really fun. I ate some really amazing tacos at a rest stop. There was one piece that began with an improvised go-crazy-and-make-lots-of-noise part in which I danced around wearing a luchador mask while my colleagues played conk shells really loud. I spent one morning drinking a pina colada and laying by a pretty nice pool. But overall, doing the gig was really horrible.
So...was it worth the money? Or, even better, is any horrible musical experience worth the money? And will I do it again?
2 comments:
You know, one thing I left out of the equation is that sometimes its enough to take a gig because its a hilarious story. Sometime I'll tell you all about the Jubilate Deo Chorale and Orchestra.....
But the short version: There was an angel.... with 9 foot wings... and a really white choir singing "Go Tell it on the Mountain" and the prayer that we all said before the service... not to mention Monsignor Marucci speeding (I mean SPEEDING) around in his wheelchair. Oh, it was priceless. Worth the $350? No. $350 + story? Definitely. Would I do it again? Ha. No.
LR
If you continue to be a professional musician, chances are that you will continue to accept gigs which turn out to be "less-than-nice".
It's inevitable. It's the luck of the draw. An occupational hazard.
"AGUA" looked awful! Why can't these composers 1) write more idiomatically; 2) edit their computerized music better?
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