Quotes, Rumors, and Suspicions

"Everyone has to be a leader." -JD"

"First you have to realize it. Then you have to want to change. Then you have to change. :)" -JD

"I think hope is almost a delicate thing and people treat it like it's the bad guy. I would just say be careful that you don't make it mean too much if it doesn't work out. If you hope and you don't get it that doesn't negate the hope." -JS

"You know the difference between hopeless and hopeful? A little more hope." -JP

"Don't over-analyze." -CM

These are some things people have said lately that I've gotten something out of. They aren't inherently profound, but they've struck me as such. Besides, the people that have said them are smart and know me pretty well, which definitely adds weight. As usual, they seem to apply to all areas of my life.

My idea of being a low horn player is evolving from one of, "follow the person to your left exactly" into, "know exactly what you're doing and how you want to sound, play your part like that, and listen very very well to the person on your left." Or something like that. I'm trying not to over-analyze it, and I hope I'm doing a good job.

In other areas (aka, the dreaded dating front...duh duh duh...) I'm behaving differently as well. I've really learned a lot about myself in the past year in this area. Realizations---desire to change---change. Maybe. Abracadabra. Well, it's really not that simple, but I am seeing things from a different angle, and a lot more satisfied because of it. Basically, I'm just living my life, taking what I can get, and hoping for the best. Period. This may not last (this mentality or the dude). That's OK.

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It is rumored that it is official that we will have a new music director come August. This is the best news "around the water cooler" that I've heard, well, ever, since I've been here. (Actually, we really do have a water cooler back stage and sometimes when everyone's standing around it I think, Wow, I never imagined Dilbert or Office Space would apply to my line of work. But there it is.)

Again, I find myself being afraid to hope that it will really happen. It would be so amazing to have my second year here be one of change, in which the orchestra really grows. There would definitely be a lot CH's- changes, challenges and chaos, but it's the necessary thing.

I'm waiting for an official announcement of some kind, but even then, expecting the expected is dangerous in Mexico.

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I suspect the average Yucatan is totally weirded out by the sight of me biking by. My skin is white, my bike is pink, I have a funny shaped black case on my back. I'm often listenng to my iPod and sometimes wearing a skirt.

I know it's not often-ok, never-seen around here. But for Pete's Sake, you don't have to do 4 double takes!! (Would that be a quadruple take?) That's just rude!

My other suspicion is that I'm in a blog rut. Of course, yesterday I had a million post ideas. But every time I went to my blog I got this weird Apache/cPanel page (if anyone can tell me how to fix THAT, I'd appreciate it. For now, I'm just using Safari instead of FireFox, but that's not my ideal choice.) And so, the ideas just kept coming (oh so ironic) and I just kept getting more frustrated.

Perhaps I need to re-work my personal blog mission. It used to be a lot of lists. Then I went through a sort of vignette stage. I guess there was a complaining period. What's next?