All right, I can’t betray you any longer. My recent lack of blogging is actually beginning to feel like a self-betrayal, it’s been so long. So I’m trying a new technique- blogging while not actually connected to the Internet. It’s a different experience, actually, and will probably result in a more journal-istic tone. I’ll connect when I head over to the main building tomorrow and cut and paste.
I arrived on Gilligan’s Island finally, after a long day of smooth but drawn out travel, at 9:30 pm. The good news is that the facilities are beautiful, there seem to be a few interesting people, and I have my own room. (I seem to be the only one with their own room, so that is extra good news. Now I have a place to do yoga un-interrupted and I can switch beds every night- tonight top bunk, tomorrow bottom, etc.! No, I won’t actually do that.) The bad news is that the delicious plates of dinner they had set aside for us included a big pile of pesto pasta topped with pine nuts, so I had to go without food. Apparently my health sheet didn’t quite make it to the kitchen, so there was not a nut-less option. Bummer. Hopefully the rest of the week they will come up with something, otherwise I’m seriously thinking of asking for money to buy some meals since I did pay to be here…
I maintain that the good news outweighs the bad news.
After memorizing a lot of names and asking the top 5 questions you ask people you meet at a music festival over and over, I got a little playing in and unpacked. And I realized something about myself…
I’m older.
The last time I was at something like this was two years ago, and while the surroundings were remarkably similar, I felt remarkably different. I don’t think I’ve ever unpacked in a place in which I will live from a suitcase for a short period. It’s never seemed the least bit important, and yet this time around it seemed essential. Interesting. And although I am hoping to meet some cool people that I can get past questions 1-5 with, I’m more excited about learning a lot this week, practicing, being serious, and coming away from this a substantially better musician. I’ve felt this way before, but it’s gotten lost in the desire to socialize. We’ll see.
If I continue to call this Gilligan’s Island does it give me license to describe the people who fit their stereotypes to a “T” that I’ve met so far? (Don’t’ worry Mom and Dad, I’m going to erase that paragraph in a few days, so no one will encounter it later and get their feelings hurt, but so that BP, RG, JD, and LR, who check my blog every day, can know exactly what I mean, and maybe even get a chuckle out of it.)
My real fear is that I too am fitting a stereotype- that girl who has a job in another country and can’t stop bringing it up. I’m consciously trying to not talk about it, because I don’t want to get annoying, and because when I do say I have a job in an orchestra, people’s voices change, like I’m a celebrity or something. I don’t want to break their hearts and explain about the orchestra or the audition process, and how if they had applied at the right time they could probably have the job too. But that seems to be a post for another day.
So I’ll leave it with this- being amidst a group of people who are in school, I am certain that I made the right decision. No matter how I got the job I have, I do feel really really lucky to have it. It’s what everyone here seems to be working hard for and what I was working so hard far, and, and it has changed me and my playing only for the better, and I would never want to go backwards on that move, from where I stand now.
Tonight I feel grateful, and a little bit lonely for the musicians I get to play my job with. The ones that know my answers to questions 1-5 and can tell me an inside joke or a word definition or buy me an ice cream cone or invite me to a party and really make me feel part of a community like I do on a daily basis at work.
Yep, tonight I feel grateful.
(And older, in my own room!!!)
...And then I walk in this morning to post this, and three people are speaking Spanish in the lobby...what a weird world!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
CM and WJM read your blog everyday too!!!!
And me too! Well... maybe not every day. I just played a rehearsal with the Madison Symphony (Opera in the Park) and it was a little like a class reunion, seeing several of my old school mates in the orchestra. I'll tell MB hello from you. Anyway, have fun at camp!
Post a Comment