Bad News is Good News

I have, as of late, flung myself, with full force, back into the world of rejection. And let me tell you, it's out there, whether you manage to hide from it, avoid it, deny it, and ignore it or not. And it stings.

I applied for my first big thing since I got my job a year and a half ago, and I did not get it. Actually, I've applied for a few other moderately big things in the past six months, not huge, but somewhat significant, and I actually got those! So that was a pleasant surprise. But now I'm back to the harsh reality of rejection. It's oogie. I'd forgotten.

Things around these parts are not ideal lately. I won't bother going into details because, frankly, it's boring and I'd rather not waste my precious mental energy and finger muscles on describing it. But lets just say, it's a time to be keeping your eyes peeled for other opportunities. So I'm going a bit nuts finding out what else is out there, and getting my nose in some of it. And that means getting turned down. Not because I'm not qualified, because I think by now, I am, slightly. And not because I'm unlucky, because I actually am lucky too. But just because it is the world I have chosen.

Sometimes I wish that when I had gone into that "Pick Your Band Instrument" interview in fifth grade the band director had handed me the horn mouthpiece, seen my eyes light up, and then reminded me, "You do realize your choosing a life full of abrupt life changes, steady relationship obstacles, negative outlooks abound, difficult personalities, incompetent administrations and far more rejections than acceptances, right?" But then I remember, I still love what I do.

I'm putting a positive spin on things. It's what makes me happy, when I'm in the mood.

I'm in the mood.

So, I'm back in the world of rejections, which sucks. But it means I'm also back in the world of possibilities. The world of new contacts, new places, new dreams, new risks, new adventures, new problems (at least they're more interesting than the old ones), new everything. And this world gives me a lot of energy. It's true, it's waaaay less comfortable. It gives me anxiety. It's maddening. But it's exciting, and for me, exciting is oh-so-much better than same old, same old.

And also, maybe even more importantly, it makes me not take this job, and all the other chances I've gotten, for granted. I've been rejected from a mountain of things. But I've been accepted to a hill, which is still a lot. And I have a job playing music every day, and I still enjoy that. So when I got my first of many rejections to come, I was pretty bummed. And then about half an hour I was elated.

Maybe I'm schizophrenic.
Maybe I'm optimistic to a fault.
Maybe I'm enlightened.