Apple Addict

I got a new computer! A MacBook Pro, to be specific. Well, to give credit where credit's due, my mom and step-dad gave me a new computer, in a stint of oh-so-much generosity. And today it wouldn't start up. So I promptly spent almost the entire day working on getting it going again. The process involved a lot of waiting, during which I watched 3 or 4 Sex and the City episodes, so excuse me if this reads a little more cliche than usual.

It's amazing how dependent we have become on our computers. I felt today (and I think I'm not alone on this, or at least that's what the Apple Care lady led me to believe) that I couldn't do anything else until I got my computer back to normal. Actually it's only in Safe Mode now, I'm still working on the problem, so I haven't completely let go of all the anxiety. In thinking about this, I realized the insane extent to which this reaches.

I often check my email right after I walk in the door. My computer has my Skype, which is the closest thing I have to a real phone in my life right now. I have a journal online, I pay my bills online, I read the newspaper online, I find out about music and art and books online, I chat with friends, see their pictures, buy plane tickets, keep track of events online, on and on. Could this be... addictive behavior? (That's the moment the camera zooms in on the blue computer monitor, for all you S and the C watchers, by the way.)

I actually enjoyed the trouble-shooting process. Apple has good taste in music, and after 15 minutes of one guy telling you you are an important guest and will be attended to shortly, they switch it up and have a different lady jump in. The two different people I worked with were especially nice and helpful. But more importantly, it's a satisfying problem-solving process. You follow simple directions, read numbers aloud, press certain combinations of buttons, wait an already figured amount of minutes and then see the phrase they told you you'd see in the box they told you you'd see it in. And then there you go, problem-fixed. Follow the steps precisely and you are rewarded accordingly. No decision-making, risk-taking, or goal-setting; no over-analyzing or beating around the bush. No difficult conversations in which you must worry about timing and phrasing. No feelings hurt. No vulnerability or sticking your foot in your mouth. No personality conflict. No rejection.

It reminds me of when I was 10 or 11 and I loved filling out those Random House "You could win 1,000,000,000 dollars!" pamphlets. Follow all the directions correctly in the right order, and you never know! It's satisfying in a simple but ultimately superficial way. And I think that's why we all get so into computers, they feel clean-cut and straight-forward, in the midst of our inevitably messy lives.

P.S. It's great to be back "home", I swear! More on that later!